The Guide to Choosing the Perfect Ceramic Cigar Ashtray
Ah, the simple joy of enjoying a fine cigar or a little something green. But wait! What do you do with that ash? You can’t just let it fall to the ground like a careless rebel, can you? No, you need a trusty companion: a ceramic cigar ashtray. But with so many options out there, how do you choose the perfect one? Fear not, dear reader! This guide is here to help you navigate the murky waters of ashtray selection while keeping it light and humorous. Let’s dive in!
1. Size Matters (But Not in the Way You Think)
When it comes to ashtrays, size is important. You don’t want one that’s too small, or you’ll be emptying it more often than you’d like. You also don’t want one that’s so big it could double as a kiddie pool. Remember, you’re smoking a cigar or enjoying a joint, not hosting a small gathering of ash-loving gnomes. A medium-sized ceramic ashtray should do the trick—big enough to hold your ashes, but not so big it takes up half your coffee table.
2. Shape Up or Ship Out
Now let’s talk about shape. Round, square, or even novelty shapes like a giant taco—ceramic ashtrays come in all forms. But let’s be real: you want something practical. Round ashtrays are classic and easy to clean, while square ones can sometimes look more modern. Just avoid shapes that will make your friends question your sanity. A taco-shaped ashtray might get a laugh, but it’ll also make you the butt of every joke the next time you light up.
3. Color Me Impressed
Color is key! You want an ashtray that complements your vibe. Are you a sophisticated aficionado? Go for a sleek black or deep burgundy. More of a laid-back, tie-dye-loving hippie? Opt for bright colors or funky patterns! Just remember: if you choose a color that clashes with your decor, you might as well be using a neon pink flamingo as your ashtray. And trust me, your friends will judge you.
4. The Weight Debate
5. Cleanliness is Next to Ashiness
Cleaning your ashtray is like cleaning your house: nobody wants to do it, but it’s a necessary evil. Choose a ceramic ashtray with smooth edges and a non-porous surface. This way, you can easily wipe away any remnants of your smoking adventures. Avoid those intricate designs with lots of nooks and crannies unless you’re ready to start a new hobby in ashtray archaeology!
6. Practical Features to Consider
Some ashtrays come with extra features. Look for built-in cigar rests or grooves to hold your joint securely. You don’t want to be fumbling around looking for a place to put your smoke while trying to maintain your cool. Some even have lids to keep the smell contained (for those who are *not* fans of the “fragrance of the herb”). If you’re fancy, consider one with a built-in lighter holder—because who doesn’t want to be the most prepared person at the party?
7. Budgeting for Your Ashtray
Finally, let’s talk budget. You can find ceramic ashtrays for as little as or splurge on a designer one for 0. Remember, you don’t need to break the bank for a solid ashtray. A good rule of thumb: if you wouldn’t want to use it after a night of heavy smoking, maybe it’s best to leave it on the shelf at the store.
Conclusion: The Search for the Holy Grail of Ashtrays
Choosing the perfect ceramic cigar ashtray doesn’t have to be a daunting task. With the right size, shape, color, weight, and features, you can find the ashtray that suits your smoking style and enhances your experience. So go forth, fellow smoker! May your ashtray be ever full (of ashes, of course) and your smoking sessions be enjoyable!